Just Outside of Center

Every gathering has its own rhythm, and every person has something unique to offer. The beauty isn't found in everyone being the same, it's found in each of us bring our own gifts to the table.

I'm rarely the person standing in the middle of a room with everyone's attention.

I'm an introvert.

If you've ever hosted a family gathering, you'll probably find me in the kitchen washing dishes while everyone else is talking. Not because I have to, but because that's where I naturally feel at home.

I come from a family of nine children, and my husband comes from a family of six. Add in spouses, grandchildren, and friends, and our family gatherings can become wonderfully loud. There is laughter in one room, conversations happening in another, children running through the house, and someone always looking for one more chair to pull up to the table.

There is a wonderful energy in all of it, but I've realized that my favorite moments are usually found just outside the center of the crowd. While I'm drying dishes beside someone, sitting on the porch after dinner, or helping put food away, conversations often become quieter. Those are the moments when I find myself asking the deeper questions I've always wanted to ask.

How are you really doing?

What have you been learning lately?

What has brought you joy?

What has been hard?

Those conversations stay with me long after I forget what was served for dinner.

Over the years, I've come to realize that gathering isn't about everyone playing the same role. Each of us brings something different. Some people make everyone laugh. Some make sure there is wonderful food on the table. Some create beautiful spaces that instantly make others feel welcome. Some organize every detail so the gathering happens in the first place. Some notice the person standing quietly at the edge of the room and make sure they aren't left alone. Some listen more than they speak.

Each of those gifts matters because each one leaves its own mark on the people who were there.

The most memorable gatherings aren't made by one person—they're made by everyone sharing the gifts only they can give.

I think we sometimes spend too much time wishing we were more like someone else. The outgoing storyteller wishes they were more organized. The organizer wishes they were more relaxed. The quiet observer wonders if they should speak more.

But what if the gathering needs every one of those people?

What if your way of caring for others is exactly what someone else remembers most?

Perhaps that's the real gift of gathering.

Not that everyone contributes in the same way.

But that everyone contributes.

So whether you're the one setting the table, making everyone laugh, washing dishes, welcoming a new neighbor, or lingering after everyone else has gone home to finish one last conversation, don't underestimate the gift you bring.

Be who you are.

Lean into it.

Share your gifts with your family, your friends, your neighbors, and your community.

You never know whose life will be warmer because you were there.

— Suni